First Post - My Odd(?) Situation

[RichardP]

Morning all;

Just wondering if the way I feel about smoking is common, or if I am just a freak

You see, I know intellectually that smoking is a Bad Thing - it costs money I can ill afford to burn and it is ruining my health - but... I don't want to give it up as I enjoy it and in a weird kind of way I think of it as part of who I am.

I suppose that I am in the situation where I want to want to give up. My friends think I do want to quit or I wouldn't even bring the topic up - and I suppose joining and posting here backs that up - but I am certain I wouldn't be able to give up if it is only my sub-conscious that wants to!

Does anyone recognise this? Is there a way of progressing from where I am to where I think I want to be? One of my friends wondered at hypnosis, but I am unconvinced that works except on those who think it does...

So - suggestions and comments please

[Helsbelles]

Richard, not odd at all. I felt precisely the same as you. Apologies, but I'm going to quote myself here, from a post I made recently.

"When I joined this site I had no confidence that I would stick with a quit.I felt like smoking was an ingrained part of my identity, something I *enjoyed*, ffs, and the only thing that motivated me was fear for my health. I didn't want to quit, I felt I had to try. And for a LONG time I thought that it was a temporary thing. That it wasn't a question of if I would cave, but when."

But I'm here to tell you, that at nearly a year and a half quit, I can look back and understand that my attitude to smoking then was just an addicts excuse. Smoking does not, and never did, define me. I am still exactly the same person I used to be - the only difference is I'm not poisoning myself.

It's easy to confuse smoking as part of your identity just because you have always done it - when you're happy, sad, stressed, tired, bored, angry, relaxing, you smoke. But the cigarettes did not make the situation, nor did they have any impact on your emotional response to it. It was just something you did *at the same time* as experiencing these things. As you go through each new situation and emotion as a non smoker your brain will set up a prompt and say 'smoke now', because that's how you've conditioned it. But get past it a couple of times and break the associations, and the urge to smoke just goes away.

As for liking it... well, I'm not going to deny that every now and then I'll see someone with a beer and a fag and think 'aah...'. But then I smell them. Jeez. And I remember how I used to cough ALL the time. How much money it cost. About what horrendous damage they do. And frankly, the attraction passes pretty quick!

I'd say if you're here, then you're obviously thinking about quitting. Give it a shot. You might surprise yourself.

helen

[una-g]

As always Helen has written a comprehensive reply which cannot be bettered by me. I totally agree that you would not be here on this forum if you had no wish to quit! Personally I find the smell of smokers awful now and shudder to think that I used to smell like that. Give it a try Richard you'll be amazed st the benefits to your health, your pockets and your self esteem

[Cavalier]

I'm not really a fan of hypnosis and it's seems that you aren't either. However if changing one's perspective is the direction you'd like to pursue then I'd recommend reading Allen Carr's Easyway to Quit. There's a link in my signature which will take you to a site where you can download a free pdf. Sorry that it's convoluted but there we have it.

Best wishes what ever your choice

PS: The 'good' folk at Easyway have removed access from the site I've linked to. If interested you could google 'Allen Carr Easyway pdf' and some good samaritan somewhere may have managed to link the pdf. Or, buy or borrow the book. Meanwhile I'll edit my signature again, John

Hi Richard. I don't think your circumstances are odd, in fact it's quite common to hear about.

I tried to quit for over a year. Like you I wanted to, I knew I should but I just couldn't manage it. I have got to a certain point and then get hit with "this is great but I can't imagine never smoking again". People try to say that you don't really enjoy cigarettes and you are just a nicotine slave but I used to say that wasn't me, I really did enjoy smoking.

When I first joined the forum I'm sure people thought I was a plant from Philip Morris because I would fly the smoking flag and defend it to the death.

As time went on I realised I didn't really enjoy smoking but I still couldn't sustain a quit. It's not enough to just realise you should quit, you have to really really really want to quit.

Anyone can quit but you have to be very determined to keep that quit going. If you aren't determined and committed it is only a matter of time before you are running to the garage at 2am in your pyjamas to buy them again.

Work out how you want to quit. Do you want the routine of work to keep you distracted the first week or do you want to be at home to run into bed at the first sign of temptation. Do you want to plan a quit date so you have a big build up or do you want to do it on the spur of the moment. Have you planned what you will do when all your brain can think of is smoking. The list just goes on.

The bottom line though is if you do want to quit there are a lot of people here to support you. Whether its your first attempt or your 309th attempt the well of hope and encouragement never dries out on this forum.

I hope you take the plunge because those people months and years ahead of us tell us it's the best decision they ever made. All the best and I hope we see your day 1 post soon

[pappy h]

great post, Karri!

Originally Posted by pappy h

great post, Karri!

*puffs chest out with pride*

[here-we-go]

Hi Richard

For years and years I said "I don't want to quit. I just want NOT to want a cigarette". Over time, that changed to "I want to be a non smoker. But I still don't want to quit". (Only smokers would understand the difference!)

I engaged in this tug of war with myself for a very, very, very long time. Eventually, when one of the two of my remaining smoker friends decided to quit, the "I want to be a non smoker" voice within me suddenly became louder than my fearful "I don't want to quit" voice.

I joined this forum. Nearly 7 months later, I'm still smoke free. Give it a go. These great folk on here are the best quitting aids going ...
Good luck - it's a journey with the best possible destination.
Sue

[RichardP]

Thanks for the replies people - food for thought... so much so that I today contacted the local StopSmoking group and a nice lady on the phone told me my situation was not uncommon and invited me in to talk to them with a view to attending meetings and things. I am not a great joiner of things, but it seems that statistically this approach is much more successful than trying to do it on your own

Originally Posted by RichardP

Thanks for the replies people - food for thought... so much so that I today contacted the local StopSmoking group and a nice lady on the phone told me my situation was not uncommon and invited me in to talk to them with a view to attending meetings and things. I am not a great joiner of things, but it seems that statistically this approach is much more successful than trying to do it on your own

That's brilliant news. Let us know how it goes