Groan if you want

[Davofgy]

Two women in Heaven


1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking.

I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds.

I kept this up until I couldn't think of anywhere else to look, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a massive heart attack and died.

1st woman: Huh! you should have looked in the freezer---then we'd both still be alive.


Matthew Kelly introduces Simon on Stars in their Eyes. Now, Simon is in a wheelchair and on to the stage he rolls.

"Hello," says Kelly, "Who are you and what happened to you?"

"Well, I'm Simon and 6 months ago, I was in a car accident which killed my uncle and took my legs. I had my uncle's legs grafted onto me and in 2 months I'll be able to walk."

"Awww," says Kelly. "Okay, who are you going to be tonight?"

"Tonight," says Simon. "I'm going to be, Simon and Half-Uncle!"

[jackieinv]

Good ones David, ta.

Jackie